Kolme viikkoa olen ollut farmilla. Eka viikko meni rennosti, opetellen paikkoja, traktorin eri tyokalujen ja lehmihommien opetellessa. Toisella viikolla tuli Susie, ja vaikka alusta riideltiin monta kertaa paivassa, niin han tuntui heimolaiselta. Tyot sujui inspiraatiossa, vapaasti ja Flowssa. Kolmannella viikolla tuli Sapho, ja hanen mukanaan tehokkuusajattelu ja stressi. En haalua kenenkaan muun stressia mun elamaan, se on yks asia mika on taysin varma tassa vaiheessa. Susie lahti omaa tietaan jatkamaan, meitsi jai.
Haasteellista aikaa. Elama on mulle elamaa. en halua enka tarvitse kellon maarittamaa vapaa eika tyoaikaa. Teen toita paivittain minka voin, omassa tahdissa ja nautin. Kun vasyttaa lepaan, jos vituttaa rankasti teen mahdollisuuksien mukaan jotain muuta. Nain sen kuuluu olla. Jokaisessa hetkessa eri voima, eri mahdollisuus. En aio latistaa sita enaa ikina kello aikaa ja kahvipaissa tehtyjen suunnitelmien orjallisella seuraamisella. Olen tassa huomannut, etta hosumalla ja "pitaa saada tama nyt akkia valmiiksi" mentaliteetissa huiskien ei saa kjuitenkaan sen enempaa aikaiseksi kun etta jos tekee rauhassa ja omassa tahdissa. Ja siina se juttu onkin: Omassa tahdissa ja tilassa pysyminen silloin kun alkaa poimia stressivibaa ymparoivilta.
Rukoilkaa mun Kanssa.
BUM
perjantai 21. toukokuuta 2010
keskiviikko 19. toukokuuta 2010
Karma
Tapaamisia
vapautiminen
Laksyjen oppimninen
Jokapaivaiset haasteet
Of Luminous Things
Of luminous things
I have so little experience
that I often think myself small.
Yet when I think of you
and your luminous ways
my being swells with hope and prayers
that you will permit the flames to grow.
In mercy, we are torn apart
into separate worlds
to find ourselves over and over
a thousand times aching for the other half.
To dream of nothing but the One between us.
Of luminous things I have squandered none
nor have I held them to my heart and asked them
to dissolve into me.
Yet when I think of you, I desire only this.
And if you disrobed your Self and watched it
watch you, you would see me as clearly as I am.
Not small and unworthy.
Unafraid of fear.
Not uncertain like empty space.
But luminous
like white light before the prism.
In my thoughts I hold your heart
sculpting away the needless
for the essence.
And when I find it
I will hold it to my heart and ask it
to dissolve into me.
I will know of luminous things
that hurtle through time
bringing us the uncharted, unfathomable
desire we have never spoken.
Words are not curious enough to say their names.
Only love can weep their identity,
and I am so perfectly defenseless
to its music.
Tapaamisia
vapautiminen
Laksyjen oppimninen
Jokapaivaiset haasteet
Of Luminous Things
Of luminous things
I have so little experience
that I often think myself small.
Yet when I think of you
and your luminous ways
my being swells with hope and prayers
that you will permit the flames to grow.
In mercy, we are torn apart
into separate worlds
to find ourselves over and over
a thousand times aching for the other half.
To dream of nothing but the One between us.
Of luminous things I have squandered none
nor have I held them to my heart and asked them
to dissolve into me.
Yet when I think of you, I desire only this.
And if you disrobed your Self and watched it
watch you, you would see me as clearly as I am.
Not small and unworthy.
Unafraid of fear.
Not uncertain like empty space.
But luminous
like white light before the prism.
In my thoughts I hold your heart
sculpting away the needless
for the essence.
And when I find it
I will hold it to my heart and ask it
to dissolve into me.
I will know of luminous things
that hurtle through time
bringing us the uncharted, unfathomable
desire we have never spoken.
Words are not curious enough to say their names.
Only love can weep their identity,
and I am so perfectly defenseless
to its music.
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