Naina paivina paljon musiikkia. Koko ajan haluaa laulaa, viheltaa, soittaa kitaraa. Uusia biiseja syntynyt pari, kevat on tulossa. Ja vapauden kaiho rinnassa voimakas, tuli polttaa vatsassa ja rinnassa. Olo on tosi voimakas, rohkea ja kapinallinen, ajatukset lahtea tien paalle voimakkaat. Herkkyys on lasna ja halua auttaa ja hoitaa.
A new Sun is rising the skies they are changing horizon
I see you I feel you so let me just be you almighty
I see you I judge you for deeds that you do
I kiss you I love you to sweet to be true
So please just show me your most secret door to your desire
And I will then free you so we can be free in mount Zion
Oh please take my hand I will lead you the way
and don't be afraid I won't lead you astray
Just come to me baby and show me yourself you're a liar
I't totally free and soon now you will see i'm a Lion
A new sun is rising the skies they are changing horizon
i see you I feel you so let me just be you almighty
<3
torstai 26. helmikuuta 2009
perjantai 20. helmikuuta 2009
Vain yksi kiintopiste, niinhan sen piti olla. Naina paivina olen siita luisunut hyvin pitkaan. Mieleni takertuvaisuuteen voimakkaasti taipuva, olkoon se niin nyt ja tassa.
Paljon itsekkyytta, narsisismia, omaan napaan tuijottelua. Harhan sumuverho hernekeiton lailla silmien edessa. Mielenkiintoista kylla miten jotkut asiat ja tilanteet laukaisee sumuverhon syntymista vaikka muuten olisi selkeaa ja kirkasta. Tulee nyt mieleen yksi Astangayogan Yamoista, Satya, totuudellisuus. Patanjali sanoo joogasutrissaan, etta pitaa pysytella totuudessa, ja kertoa totuus, mutta pitaa valttaa sellaisen totuuden sanomista jonka satuttaa. Ymmarran sen nyt kaytannon kautta, ei pida aiheuttaa hammennysta ymparilleen pelkastaan sen takia etta helpottaisi omaa oloa, se on itsekkyytta eika totuudellisuutta. Jos omat teot tuntuvat pahoilta, siinapa niiden seuraamus mita pitaa karsia, se ei ole muiden ihmisten asia karsia.
Anteeksi.
Paljon itsekkyytta, narsisismia, omaan napaan tuijottelua. Harhan sumuverho hernekeiton lailla silmien edessa. Mielenkiintoista kylla miten jotkut asiat ja tilanteet laukaisee sumuverhon syntymista vaikka muuten olisi selkeaa ja kirkasta. Tulee nyt mieleen yksi Astangayogan Yamoista, Satya, totuudellisuus. Patanjali sanoo joogasutrissaan, etta pitaa pysytella totuudessa, ja kertoa totuus, mutta pitaa valttaa sellaisen totuuden sanomista jonka satuttaa. Ymmarran sen nyt kaytannon kautta, ei pida aiheuttaa hammennysta ymparilleen pelkastaan sen takia etta helpottaisi omaa oloa, se on itsekkyytta eika totuudellisuutta. Jos omat teot tuntuvat pahoilta, siinapa niiden seuraamus mita pitaa karsia, se ei ole muiden ihmisten asia karsia.
Anteeksi.
tiistai 10. helmikuuta 2009
Vedin tanaan tukkani sankeen asti, ja voi mun hyvyys etta on nanna olo! Puhdas ja raikas, ja paanahkaa ja paanahan ympari kihelmoi ihanasti. Taa meininki tiimissa lahenee valilla puhdasta farssia kun naita erikoisia persoonia on siunaantunut samaan paikkaan useampi. Valilla naura avuttomana niin etta meinaa henki loppua, valilla egot tormaa niin etta ilma muuttuu todella tukalaksi.
Kaipaan savusaunaa ja Suomalaisia kansanlauluja.
Ja vanhaa metsaa ja sammalta paljaiden jalkojen alla.
Kaipaus on ikuista, hetki on ikuinen.
Kaipaan savusaunaa ja Suomalaisia kansanlauluja.
Ja vanhaa metsaa ja sammalta paljaiden jalkojen alla.
Kaipaus on ikuista, hetki on ikuinen.
maanantai 9. helmikuuta 2009
Talla hetkella vituttaa oikein kunnolla. Silleen etta haluais huutaa ja paiskata tavaroita ympariinsa, ja jos joku sanoo vaaran sanan niin vois helposti rajahtaa kappaleiksi. Younet tosi katkonaiset ja oudot taysikuun takia, ylaselassa vanha kunnon jumi. Mut so not, eteenpain sano aatsteri ko leipaa leikkas.
lauantai 7. helmikuuta 2009
Let it Be
Ma odotan innolla sita paivaa, etta kutsuissa, pitopoydasta teeta ja herkkuja hakiessani saan rehvakkaasti tokaista lahimmalle tyypille, "Ota siita, Mina tarjoan!"
Rinta tuntuu kevyelta nyt ku limaisuus alkaa olemaan ohi. Hengittaminen tuntuu tosi raikkaalta, ja asanaharjoituksen taaksetaivutukset oli tanaan tosi helpot. Aurinko paistaa ulkona, ja tyytyvaisyys tuntuu jameralta. Ajatusprosesseissa hengailen paljon, lasnaolo on silta lasna.
Taalla muuttuu ihmiskokoonpano lahes jatuvasti, uusia tulee, vanhoja menee, ihmisia tulee kaymaan. Koskettelua ja hellyyden osoittelua on paljon, ja siita olen niin kiitollinen, uskomattoman paljon varikkyytta ja mielekkyytta elamaan tuo se, All you need is Love.
Rinta tuntuu kevyelta nyt ku limaisuus alkaa olemaan ohi. Hengittaminen tuntuu tosi raikkaalta, ja asanaharjoituksen taaksetaivutukset oli tanaan tosi helpot. Aurinko paistaa ulkona, ja tyytyvaisyys tuntuu jameralta. Ajatusprosesseissa hengailen paljon, lasnaolo on silta lasna.
Taalla muuttuu ihmiskokoonpano lahes jatuvasti, uusia tulee, vanhoja menee, ihmisia tulee kaymaan. Koskettelua ja hellyyden osoittelua on paljon, ja siita olen niin kiitollinen, uskomattoman paljon varikkyytta ja mielekkyytta elamaan tuo se, All you need is Love.
perjantai 6. helmikuuta 2009
Hourintaa
Tassa tulee nyt armoton tekstirykelma, lukekoon kuka jaksaa. Tama on mun ensimmainen nyt tehty koulutehtava, kymmenen kysymysta koskien etiikkaa. Tein taman pitkalti tajunnanvirtana, ja nyt nyt kun luen sen lapi, niin jotkut osat tuntuvat teennaisilta ja noloilta, jotkut tosi hyvalta. En muuta niita enaa, se oli kuitenkin rehellisin tuotos mita saatoin tassa mielentilassa tehda, sen enemman yrittamatta....Teinko parhaani? Sponttanisuudessa kylla, virtauksessa kylla. Parantelussa ja viilaamisessa, en tehnyt, mutta en haluakaan, alkukantainen ja rehellinen antaa paremman kuvan itsestani, ja egostani.
At doing my best, I feel I'm getting better and better all the time. I was thinking about this in the past few days when I was in bed with a cold, and reflected alot upon my life and myself. I remembered my childhood, and going to school. I was always good in school, it was easy for me to understand most subjects, and I had a good memory. I got good marks with moderate effort, and over the years I got lazier, I almost never made any really strong efforts and my mind got used to easy passing and good results with little effort. When I was passionately interested in something it was different of course, then I did my best, but in these cases it was different, it doesn't really feel like effort since the motivation driving me is high because of the passion for what I'm doing. So this is important, to do something you have a passion for will automatically give good results.
In life however, it's also necessary to fulfill tasks that one does not feel passionate about, and when making an effort in doing the best you can, you really feel rewarded when the task is finished. This feeling of reward then works as a motivator for doing ones best also in future tasks. And this is, what I feel has been happening to me for some time now.
When I got involved in this program I no longer had to live with feelings about my life being in vain becauseof me not doing much good for the world. For some years I have systematically been improving myself, my life and by this, of course also having positive influence on my surroundings, but the work I've been doing to earn my living has not really given me any satisfaction in this regard, except knife sharpening ofcourse :)
Being in Lindersvold and working as a DI jobber really helped me to find new motivation for working and completing tasks. I found the joy in doing my best, and get a good result, and even the satisfaction doing your best gives you even if the result is not as perfect as you would like it to be. So, how I see it, it is of great importance to really be able to understand the greater picture in what you are doing; what is the meaning of completing it, and also to feel the personal responsibility of achieving a good result. A great obstacle in the way of being able to put your best effort in what you are doing is your own mind; with sloppy, half-hearted efforts you over time create a mind pattern which is harder and harder to get out of as time goes by. This also creates a lot of negativie feelings since you never get to experience the feeling of reward when achieving something after putting great effort in it. A vicious circle is created in your mind that has to be broken.
By practising yoga regularly for almost 4 years I am more and more able to understand and overcome obstacles within my own mind, and it is with positivity I look upon future tasks and challenges, I believe I will have the understanding of undertaking projects I can feel is of importance for the well-being of all, and also that I have the power of overcoming bad habits and challenges within myself such as laziness or indifference. To conclude the question, I haven't been doing my best all the time, but these days I am at least most of the time doing close to my very best, and I really want to do so, and more even in the future.
2. As was the case also in question number one, I have changed over time. I remember clearly that as late as some years ago I used to feel unadequate and discouraged when encountering someone with abilities I thought to be great or amazing. These days, however, I can actually admire and be happy about the excellence of certain people, and even if I have bad days when my mind easily relapse into old habits, I am usually able to notice this in time, and thus preventing these negative mind patterns of manifesting themselves stronger in my experience of life. I really believe that anything is possible, and I am very happy and thankful for all the great people in my life right now from who there is great inspiration and power to be received.
In general, incertainty means for me freedom. Freedom of creating my life spontaneously from time to time, and to listen to the voice of my heart and intuiton when making decisions on what to do. This uncertainty or freedom can be part of the experience of many aspects of life, work, human relations, and even principals and opinions. I really think you don't need any fixed ideas or opinions neither about yourself or the world. To keep an open mind, being present in the moment and acting upon what your heart requires, that's all that is needed.
The only thing that is certain is that everything is always changing, constantly moving. Our mind of course, works in a way that for it to be able to grasp something, it most first create the illusion of permanence, certainty. This gives a sense of security, which of course is the biggest illusion of them all, nothing is permanent, not even the physical realm around us which seems to be solid and securely fixed for us to use. The truth is, that everything is just waves of energy, as Einstein stated in his well known theory of relativity, E=mcc What for us appears to be solid matter like the earth, furniture or our own body is in reality nothing but constructions of molecules consisting of atoms which in their turn consist of clouds of electrons moving around a nucleus of protons and neutrons with the speed of light. The atom is mostly space and is in constant movemement, only in our minds with use of our five senses is an image of solid matter built up.
The atom was discovered many decades ago, but more recent studies in the field of nuclear physics are showing that everything is actually made of light, different wavelengths of energy woven together in myriads of ways. This is where it gets really interesting, the cross roads between science and spirituality. Religions and esoteric knowledge of many cultures all speak about this oneness, about a field of energy being the net upon which "reality" is structured, and this has now been confirmed by western science. My personal view is that this net is life itself in its purest essence, and that it is what is often called the Love of God. An interesting question that arises is ofcourse, what is the origin of this power grid? How is it created? Here lies the mystery of what is often called God.
In conclusion, since the nature of reality is evermoving and everchanging, why bother oneself about seemingly discertainty in our everyday life, freedom comes from accepting uncertainty, freedom to embrace the myriads of different possibilities of creating our own life every moment. Again, it is all about overcoming the restrictions of mind, not always easy, but most certainly possible, just like everything else.
What makes me happy for the moment is that I have a place to live and practise Yoga, food to eat, something useful to do, and people to share all this with. With this, I feel satisfied and content. Highlights accentuating the everyday experience is of course very nice, and they intensify the feeling of happiness from time to time. This means for instance cultural events or celebrations of any sorts. One very important factor of my happiness is my yoga practise. Doing Asana-practise every morning keeps my body strong and healthy and my mind clear and focused. Meditation and chanting mantras liften up my spirits and fills me with a deep satisfaction. All this helps me dig deeper into to the mystery of life. My experience of living becomes more trusting, sensitive and amazing. Everything seems more meaningful and beautyful.
I believe, that if I was more enlightened, more free from the restrictions of my mind, I wouldn't even need these in order to be happy. I believe, that it is possible for the body to survive without food. Since all matter principally consist of the same basic energy, it should be, and is said to be, possible to learn how to ”charge” the body directly with energy without actually eating. This might sound very unbelievable, but seminars where this is taught are being held, and there is reports of people living years and years without eating. Reports of saints in ancient scripture as well as modern time tellings.
I also believe, that it isn't really necessary to have the physical company of other human beings in order to be happy. Everything is connected, everything is one, all humans are basically part of the same whole, connected through the grid of life that is by some people called ”the Divine Matrix” , by others the love of God. So in reality, we are always together since we never really were separated. What is causing the illusion of separatedness is the human mind where is created ego, the image of a false self, seemingly separate from the rest of the world.
Something I've been reflecting upon lately is the natural urges of man, most of all reproduction. As i move further and further into manhood, I can really feel a desire deep within me of founding a family and have children to inherite my genes and life-experience. Is it really what I should do, or is it only nature calling within me? Time will tell I guess.
The need for a good shelter is in my opinion largely a question of the climate in which you live your life. If I am to live my life in my home country, Finland, then I would definately need a fairly good shelter during the winter months. I don't however, feel the need of a permanent, modern house. I am able to feel at home wherever in the world I am, most at home I feel in natural surroundings where nature is strong, preferrably close to pure lakes and old forrest. I have a dream about spending most of a summer in nature, living in a tent or a Jurt, and this is something I will do after the DI-programme. In spite of all this all these statements, I don't want to make any strong opinions or principals, I live my life according to what feels right for the moment.
The experience of having something useful to do can be put equal to simply experiencing that life has a meaning. This on the other hand is the same as being deeply connected to life itself, the power grid. Yoga practise is for me at this point of my life the best way I know to achieve this connection, so I would say it is the most important thing for my happiness. If something would happen to me that prevented me from practising, I don't know how it would be, happy or unhappy, but alive, and where there is life there is hope.
I still behave very stupidly with other people from time to time, and treat people in ways I
wouldn't want to be treated my self. This means for example using a too sharp tongue, judging people and making seemingly harmless jokes about other people. Im getting better all the time at noticing what I am about to do before I actually do it, and thus I am able to change my behaviour towards the better, but there is still work to be done.
In ten years I see myself more free from any kinds of restrictions of mind. Living strongly according to what my heart wants, fulfilling my life bringing light and love to other people.
I live in a small, clean, simple and warm house with my life-companions in a beautyful, strong and natural place. I warm my house with fire and I have a nice lake with islands about 50m from my house. I have a separate saunabuilding by the lake, and a canoe. In my kitchen I have an efficient gas stove, I eat a lot of living food.I have easy access to ecological, pure food, mostly vegetarian, but also milk products produced so close to where I live that I can have a personal relationship with the cows and the goats.
I judge people a lot in my thoughts, everyday. I am aware of that everything I don't like in others is actually parts of myself I don't like, which means that I don't accept them. The kind of behaviour i Judge is for example arguing in a competitive way and not taking care of yourself, for example smoking, eating junk-food and not excersising.
What I really believe, is that life itself is intelligent, and that the only thing we as humans need to do, is simply surrender to life, let it happen, be grateful, curious and present, then we will know how to act when opportunities arises. I believe that by practising yoga we can make this easier to achieve. This I really believe since it is my own experience, and it seems to get better and better, deeper and deeper as time goes by.
These days it's easier for me to adapt to change, to accept the reality even if it doesn't go my way. This is a way of being humble to life, to surrender your own will, and believing that everything will be right anyway, even if it doesn't seem so at the moment. For the time being, practising yoga in the traditional way taught to me by my teacher, is the best way for me to grow personally. It means a lot of sweat, and taking myself out of my comfort zone, exploring my emotional traumas, but it also means security and warmth, faith, and foremost the experience of slowly, year by year evolving a little bit towards the better.
What I feel has been disturbing my direction of life, disturbed me, and made me unhappy lately, not recently, but within the last few years, is misuse of alcohol, crude behaviour and emotional violence, even so seemingly innocent. All of these things are very common in the world, and also in my life. This has slowly been changing for some years now. I truly b elieve that we create our own experience of reality, consiously and also non-consiously. What is changing in me now, is that the part of me that still wants the create this kind of experience is getting smaller and smaller. Change does not happen abruptly, but the encounters with these disturbances comes less frequently now. This is very nice in the sense that life is sweet and pure in between these encounters. However, the contrast to light and purity is much more strong when an encounter does occur and this feels very hard. Slowly but surely towards the better, for sure.
At doing my best, I feel I'm getting better and better all the time. I was thinking about this in the past few days when I was in bed with a cold, and reflected alot upon my life and myself. I remembered my childhood, and going to school. I was always good in school, it was easy for me to understand most subjects, and I had a good memory. I got good marks with moderate effort, and over the years I got lazier, I almost never made any really strong efforts and my mind got used to easy passing and good results with little effort. When I was passionately interested in something it was different of course, then I did my best, but in these cases it was different, it doesn't really feel like effort since the motivation driving me is high because of the passion for what I'm doing. So this is important, to do something you have a passion for will automatically give good results.
In life however, it's also necessary to fulfill tasks that one does not feel passionate about, and when making an effort in doing the best you can, you really feel rewarded when the task is finished. This feeling of reward then works as a motivator for doing ones best also in future tasks. And this is, what I feel has been happening to me for some time now.
When I got involved in this program I no longer had to live with feelings about my life being in vain becauseof me not doing much good for the world. For some years I have systematically been improving myself, my life and by this, of course also having positive influence on my surroundings, but the work I've been doing to earn my living has not really given me any satisfaction in this regard, except knife sharpening ofcourse :)
Being in Lindersvold and working as a DI jobber really helped me to find new motivation for working and completing tasks. I found the joy in doing my best, and get a good result, and even the satisfaction doing your best gives you even if the result is not as perfect as you would like it to be. So, how I see it, it is of great importance to really be able to understand the greater picture in what you are doing; what is the meaning of completing it, and also to feel the personal responsibility of achieving a good result. A great obstacle in the way of being able to put your best effort in what you are doing is your own mind; with sloppy, half-hearted efforts you over time create a mind pattern which is harder and harder to get out of as time goes by. This also creates a lot of negativie feelings since you never get to experience the feeling of reward when achieving something after putting great effort in it. A vicious circle is created in your mind that has to be broken.
By practising yoga regularly for almost 4 years I am more and more able to understand and overcome obstacles within my own mind, and it is with positivity I look upon future tasks and challenges, I believe I will have the understanding of undertaking projects I can feel is of importance for the well-being of all, and also that I have the power of overcoming bad habits and challenges within myself such as laziness or indifference. To conclude the question, I haven't been doing my best all the time, but these days I am at least most of the time doing close to my very best, and I really want to do so, and more even in the future.
2. As was the case also in question number one, I have changed over time. I remember clearly that as late as some years ago I used to feel unadequate and discouraged when encountering someone with abilities I thought to be great or amazing. These days, however, I can actually admire and be happy about the excellence of certain people, and even if I have bad days when my mind easily relapse into old habits, I am usually able to notice this in time, and thus preventing these negative mind patterns of manifesting themselves stronger in my experience of life. I really believe that anything is possible, and I am very happy and thankful for all the great people in my life right now from who there is great inspiration and power to be received.
In general, incertainty means for me freedom. Freedom of creating my life spontaneously from time to time, and to listen to the voice of my heart and intuiton when making decisions on what to do. This uncertainty or freedom can be part of the experience of many aspects of life, work, human relations, and even principals and opinions. I really think you don't need any fixed ideas or opinions neither about yourself or the world. To keep an open mind, being present in the moment and acting upon what your heart requires, that's all that is needed.
The only thing that is certain is that everything is always changing, constantly moving. Our mind of course, works in a way that for it to be able to grasp something, it most first create the illusion of permanence, certainty. This gives a sense of security, which of course is the biggest illusion of them all, nothing is permanent, not even the physical realm around us which seems to be solid and securely fixed for us to use. The truth is, that everything is just waves of energy, as Einstein stated in his well known theory of relativity, E=mcc What for us appears to be solid matter like the earth, furniture or our own body is in reality nothing but constructions of molecules consisting of atoms which in their turn consist of clouds of electrons moving around a nucleus of protons and neutrons with the speed of light. The atom is mostly space and is in constant movemement, only in our minds with use of our five senses is an image of solid matter built up.
The atom was discovered many decades ago, but more recent studies in the field of nuclear physics are showing that everything is actually made of light, different wavelengths of energy woven together in myriads of ways. This is where it gets really interesting, the cross roads between science and spirituality. Religions and esoteric knowledge of many cultures all speak about this oneness, about a field of energy being the net upon which "reality" is structured, and this has now been confirmed by western science. My personal view is that this net is life itself in its purest essence, and that it is what is often called the Love of God. An interesting question that arises is ofcourse, what is the origin of this power grid? How is it created? Here lies the mystery of what is often called God.
In conclusion, since the nature of reality is evermoving and everchanging, why bother oneself about seemingly discertainty in our everyday life, freedom comes from accepting uncertainty, freedom to embrace the myriads of different possibilities of creating our own life every moment. Again, it is all about overcoming the restrictions of mind, not always easy, but most certainly possible, just like everything else.
What makes me happy for the moment is that I have a place to live and practise Yoga, food to eat, something useful to do, and people to share all this with. With this, I feel satisfied and content. Highlights accentuating the everyday experience is of course very nice, and they intensify the feeling of happiness from time to time. This means for instance cultural events or celebrations of any sorts. One very important factor of my happiness is my yoga practise. Doing Asana-practise every morning keeps my body strong and healthy and my mind clear and focused. Meditation and chanting mantras liften up my spirits and fills me with a deep satisfaction. All this helps me dig deeper into to the mystery of life. My experience of living becomes more trusting, sensitive and amazing. Everything seems more meaningful and beautyful.
I believe, that if I was more enlightened, more free from the restrictions of my mind, I wouldn't even need these in order to be happy. I believe, that it is possible for the body to survive without food. Since all matter principally consist of the same basic energy, it should be, and is said to be, possible to learn how to ”charge” the body directly with energy without actually eating. This might sound very unbelievable, but seminars where this is taught are being held, and there is reports of people living years and years without eating. Reports of saints in ancient scripture as well as modern time tellings.
I also believe, that it isn't really necessary to have the physical company of other human beings in order to be happy. Everything is connected, everything is one, all humans are basically part of the same whole, connected through the grid of life that is by some people called ”the Divine Matrix” , by others the love of God. So in reality, we are always together since we never really were separated. What is causing the illusion of separatedness is the human mind where is created ego, the image of a false self, seemingly separate from the rest of the world.
Something I've been reflecting upon lately is the natural urges of man, most of all reproduction. As i move further and further into manhood, I can really feel a desire deep within me of founding a family and have children to inherite my genes and life-experience. Is it really what I should do, or is it only nature calling within me? Time will tell I guess.
The need for a good shelter is in my opinion largely a question of the climate in which you live your life. If I am to live my life in my home country, Finland, then I would definately need a fairly good shelter during the winter months. I don't however, feel the need of a permanent, modern house. I am able to feel at home wherever in the world I am, most at home I feel in natural surroundings where nature is strong, preferrably close to pure lakes and old forrest. I have a dream about spending most of a summer in nature, living in a tent or a Jurt, and this is something I will do after the DI-programme. In spite of all this all these statements, I don't want to make any strong opinions or principals, I live my life according to what feels right for the moment.
The experience of having something useful to do can be put equal to simply experiencing that life has a meaning. This on the other hand is the same as being deeply connected to life itself, the power grid. Yoga practise is for me at this point of my life the best way I know to achieve this connection, so I would say it is the most important thing for my happiness. If something would happen to me that prevented me from practising, I don't know how it would be, happy or unhappy, but alive, and where there is life there is hope.
I still behave very stupidly with other people from time to time, and treat people in ways I
wouldn't want to be treated my self. This means for example using a too sharp tongue, judging people and making seemingly harmless jokes about other people. Im getting better all the time at noticing what I am about to do before I actually do it, and thus I am able to change my behaviour towards the better, but there is still work to be done.
In ten years I see myself more free from any kinds of restrictions of mind. Living strongly according to what my heart wants, fulfilling my life bringing light and love to other people.
I live in a small, clean, simple and warm house with my life-companions in a beautyful, strong and natural place. I warm my house with fire and I have a nice lake with islands about 50m from my house. I have a separate saunabuilding by the lake, and a canoe. In my kitchen I have an efficient gas stove, I eat a lot of living food.I have easy access to ecological, pure food, mostly vegetarian, but also milk products produced so close to where I live that I can have a personal relationship with the cows and the goats.
I judge people a lot in my thoughts, everyday. I am aware of that everything I don't like in others is actually parts of myself I don't like, which means that I don't accept them. The kind of behaviour i Judge is for example arguing in a competitive way and not taking care of yourself, for example smoking, eating junk-food and not excersising.
What I really believe, is that life itself is intelligent, and that the only thing we as humans need to do, is simply surrender to life, let it happen, be grateful, curious and present, then we will know how to act when opportunities arises. I believe that by practising yoga we can make this easier to achieve. This I really believe since it is my own experience, and it seems to get better and better, deeper and deeper as time goes by.
These days it's easier for me to adapt to change, to accept the reality even if it doesn't go my way. This is a way of being humble to life, to surrender your own will, and believing that everything will be right anyway, even if it doesn't seem so at the moment. For the time being, practising yoga in the traditional way taught to me by my teacher, is the best way for me to grow personally. It means a lot of sweat, and taking myself out of my comfort zone, exploring my emotional traumas, but it also means security and warmth, faith, and foremost the experience of slowly, year by year evolving a little bit towards the better.
What I feel has been disturbing my direction of life, disturbed me, and made me unhappy lately, not recently, but within the last few years, is misuse of alcohol, crude behaviour and emotional violence, even so seemingly innocent. All of these things are very common in the world, and also in my life. This has slowly been changing for some years now. I truly b elieve that we create our own experience of reality, consiously and also non-consiously. What is changing in me now, is that the part of me that still wants the create this kind of experience is getting smaller and smaller. Change does not happen abruptly, but the encounters with these disturbances comes less frequently now. This is very nice in the sense that life is sweet and pure in between these encounters. However, the contrast to light and purity is much more strong when an encounter does occur and this feels very hard. Slowly but surely towards the better, for sure.
sunnuntai 1. helmikuuta 2009
Eteenpain asaisesti myrskyn silmassa
Vaununpyorat pyorivat uomassa
Eteenpain ajava musiikki vakavoittaa, sen poljento voimistaa taisteluun
Peruskallio, Honkapuu vai paju?
Sisimpani ydin vesisammiossa lepaamassa
Maalaistalon emanta katselee auringonlaskua, kaipaa miestaan kotiin.
Rakkaat ihmiset, lukijat. Viime paivina oon ollu kipee ja nukkunu ja lepaillyt enimmakseen. Enemman kuin pitkaan aikaan, ollut oikein horroksessa. Ulkoiset asiat ja tekeminen ei ole kiinnostanut kuin lyhyita hetkia kerrallaan, muuten oon lillunut omassa liemessani, tama liemi on maistunut turvalliselle. Huomenna alkaakin sitten jo koulutusohjelma, pari kuukautta aikaisemmin kun alunperin, silla olis helmikuun tiimi ollut liian pieni,joten kysyttiin jos me, tuleva huhtikuun tiimi halutaan siihen jo liittya, ja tokihan me haluttiin.
Eramaa ja jarvet
Syksy ja kirkkaus
savu nousee kodasta
Marjat odottaa poimijansa
Katson ihaillen naisen lanteita, vierustoveri sanoo Jumalan olevan hyva.
Ja samaa mielta olen minakin, Jumala on hyva.
Vaununpyorat pyorivat uomassa
Eteenpain ajava musiikki vakavoittaa, sen poljento voimistaa taisteluun
Peruskallio, Honkapuu vai paju?
Sisimpani ydin vesisammiossa lepaamassa
Maalaistalon emanta katselee auringonlaskua, kaipaa miestaan kotiin.
Rakkaat ihmiset, lukijat. Viime paivina oon ollu kipee ja nukkunu ja lepaillyt enimmakseen. Enemman kuin pitkaan aikaan, ollut oikein horroksessa. Ulkoiset asiat ja tekeminen ei ole kiinnostanut kuin lyhyita hetkia kerrallaan, muuten oon lillunut omassa liemessani, tama liemi on maistunut turvalliselle. Huomenna alkaakin sitten jo koulutusohjelma, pari kuukautta aikaisemmin kun alunperin, silla olis helmikuun tiimi ollut liian pieni,joten kysyttiin jos me, tuleva huhtikuun tiimi halutaan siihen jo liittya, ja tokihan me haluttiin.
Eramaa ja jarvet
Syksy ja kirkkaus
savu nousee kodasta
Marjat odottaa poimijansa
Katson ihaillen naisen lanteita, vierustoveri sanoo Jumalan olevan hyva.
Ja samaa mielta olen minakin, Jumala on hyva.
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